dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
