Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
