I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
