Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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