Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
