the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
