mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
