I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize