omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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