my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
