And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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