? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
