What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
