Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.

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(713): View more from Texas

I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...

Fav 15 5095 1084
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(256): View more from Alabama

I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

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(317): View more from Indiana

You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time

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(850): View more from Florida

Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.

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(360): View more from Washington

We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?

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(613): View more from Ontario

What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies

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