does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize