just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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