I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
