why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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