Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
