We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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