we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
PANTIES FOUND
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
