I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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