College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
