If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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