I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
