drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
