Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize