I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
