maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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