I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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