well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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