You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
