If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
