So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
