Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
