she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
