Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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