There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
