so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
