we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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