I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
