yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude i'm inner monologue high
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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