the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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