I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My breasts were aching with rage.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize