You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
