in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
