Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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