drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
