and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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