I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You are a genius and a whore.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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