no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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