I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
