She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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