how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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