Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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